


My Own coming-out Story

by GothicRainbow



Category: Real Life Experience - Fandom
Genre: Discrimination, F/F, Freedom, Lesbian, Real Life Situations, coming out story, life story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-31 19:12:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6484063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothicRainbow/pseuds/GothicRainbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is just a true story about my life and coming out as a lesbian. I hope it becomes something that someone can find inspiration in and hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Own coming-out Story

My name is Stephanie Turman and I was born a lesbian. Did I always know that? Simply put, no I didn't. I grew up believing that being straight was the only option out there. I even had a crush, or so I thought, on a boy in 1st Grade. 

I didn't even know what a lesbian was until roughly 15 when Party of Five came out with the character Perry. There's a scene in the show where Neve Campbell's character, Julia, kisses Perry. Needless to say it struck a chord within me. 

I began to think, "Am I a lesbian too? I don't like boys like other girls my age do. How do I find this out?", was my internal conflict for a few years. 

It wasn't until I was 18 that I kissed a girl for the 1st time. Not only did I enjoy it, but it also lead to more questions. 

Questions like, "Am I bisexual? What will my family think? Maybe I'm safer being bisexual until I know for sure." fueled my curiosity. When I 1st came out as bisexual to my father and stepmother I was met with, "You're not bisexual, you're just confused.", little did either of us know that my father was right, just not in the way he hoped. 

Years passed and it wasn't until I was 20/almost 21 that I had my first girlfriend. During the course of the relationship I thought to myself, "I know we love each other, but does she love me as much as I love her?". Of course with all relationships there comes the good and bad times, though, some of the bad times are better left for a different story. In the long run we wound up breaking up.

Shortly afterwards and some deep soul searching later, I came to the realization that I was sick of living a lie as a bisexual. I knew without a shadow of doubt in my mind that I was indeed a lesbian.

I knew I had to come out and tell my family. Now I know some would say, "It's your life, you don't have to come out if you don't want to.", or something along those lines, but for me it wasn't a matter of I had to. It was more like I needed to know that my family and friends we're accepting of who I am, regardless of who I was with. 

For me, coming out was my way of freedom to be who I am and feel comfortable with who I am.

I carefully planned how I came out to my parents. The worst part about it was I had to do it twice because my parents are divorced.

I live with my mom so she was the 1st to find out. My mom took it a bit better than I originally thought she would. Although, years down the road things took a turn for the worse.

Then the day came for me to come out to my father. I was a nervous wreck. You see, my father while this is not an excuse, was born and raised in Alabama. 

For those of you that don't know, Alabama is very much racist and up until just recently was very homophobic, in some parts probably still is. 

I was scared to death that he would disown me for being gay so coming out to him was one of the toughest things I've ever done in my entire life.

His reaction to it was somewhat expected and yet unexpected. While he didn't disown me, he didn't really much approve either. He also went on saying, "I knew it this whole time", and laughed it off. 

Later on in my life, he also would go on to come to terms with my sexuality, even joke about it sometimes. While I know it's not something to joke about of course, it was his way of coping I guess. Yet he still was apprehensive saying that I could not bring any of my girlfriends to his house and that they were not welcome.

My mother was the one that ended up telling my grandmother and my aunt. They reacted poorly stating that I needed counseling and it was just a phase. Not much was said afterwards, it was almost like the subject was completely taboo or best to be avoided.

The rest of my family that was told was a mix of both accepting and silently not so accepting.

As for my friends, most of them were accepting. Some of them even acted as though they already knew. However, I did lose at least one friend possibly more I don't know for sure.

Throughout my adult life since coming out I've been blessed to not have as much negative responses to me being gay as some people have in other states or countries. 

Sure I'll got the occasional, "Oh you're a lesbian? That's such a waste, youre so pretty.", or, "maybe you just haven't had the right guy in your life.", or the famous, "hey I'm a lesbian too!" from guys another homophobic people.

At one point in my life I was even sexually harassed by two straight female coworkers and even eventually fired under false pretenses and excuses, but I knew full well it was because I'm gay. The simple fact that when I was working I quite literally out performed both coworkers in question and was told as such by other coworkers and managers only confirmed my suspicion.

While most of me coming out wasn't the best outcome, the positives definitely outweighed the bad. In the end, I am free to be who I truly am! I no longer have to hide who I am from the family and friends that I love so much. I don't have to feel ashamed of who I am and who I love. 

Being gay isn't a choice! Who on Earth would choose to be ridiculed, discriminated against, or even put to death if they are found to be LGBTQ?! No one in their right mind would want that! Now would I still come out if I were in a situation where I could possibly die for being myself? Perhaps I wouldn't or perhaps I would! I'll never know because thankfully I live in the part of the world where it's just ever so slightly more tolerated and accepted. 

I know that years ago it wasn't so easy and I thank those who put this change into motion! Hopefully there will come a time where nobody in this world will have to worry about being put to death just because they're gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or any of those other labels people put upon us! One day, nobody will have to come out they'll just be and that'll be enough for everybody around them!

My name is Stephanie Turman, and I'm an out and proud lesbian! I am here to say that it does get better! You just have to find your way, find your support system, and never look back. 

You deserve so much better than to live a life of hiding who you are. You're beautiful just the way you are and if someone you care about can't see you as such, then you need to get rid of the negative people in your life. You might be asking yourself, "Why?", because you deserve better that's why!

Now I'm in no way trying to tell anyone what to do! I'm just saying that once you rid yourself of the negative people in your life the healthier your life will be.

In conclusion, I hope my coming-out story touched the lives of those still in the closet, scared to come out for fear of rejection or being disowned by family and friends. I hope that they find the courage from my story to be who they are regardless of what others think. I hope I can become the inspiration one needs to put fear aside and let yourself be free.


End file.
